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Written by Tancred
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Sunday, 05 August 2007 |
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Page 2 of 4
Tancred's Page
Dear Tancred
I have heard rumours that one of Harplestane's fighters considers himself irresistible to women. Is this true and what is his secret ?
Yours
Envious
Dear Envious
You've been listening to Michael de Brad again haven't you. Of course it is true. That dark hair, that strange grin he wears in combat, those long slim features, his immaculate armour and most importantly his trousers of irresistibility.
Tancred
Dear Tancred
I have watched the many knights of Drachenwald with interest, but one thing puzzles me. Why is there such a great variety in the length of their white belts.
Yours
Bemused
Dear Bemused,
These sort of things are generally only discussed in Chivalry meetings. However the greatest thinkers of our age spent much time discussing it at their last meeting in the local hostelry, The Ferret and Trouser. There would appear to be an inverse relationship between belt length and size of thrusting tip, the longer the belt, the smaller the thrusting tip. See Count Sir Garick for details.
Tancred
Dear Tancred ,
I am due to squire to a knight soon. I am happy with the relationship that we have, however he insists that I should get a red belt with grommets in it.
Yours
Nervous
Dear Nervous,
The relationship between knight and squire is indeed special and should be considered carefully before entering into such a commitment. However, I would think long and hard about getting your belt pierced for your Knight. While it may add some sensitivity to the whole relationship, it may not right for you. I would try and persuade your Knight that your belt is fine as it is. After all he has to respect you for who you are, and besides, I have heard that the process of piercing makes your eyes water.
Tancred
Dear Tancred
What is the identity of Arafel's little friend. I have heard it discussed many times but no one seems willing to divulge his name.
yours
Curious
Dear Curious,
Even I did not dare mention the gentle's name while he was resident in the Isles. But now that he has departed these shores it is safe to reveal that Arafel's diminutive associate is none other than Edouard Beausoleil.
Tancred
Dear Tancred,
We are constantly being undermined, plagued and attacked by enemies from across the sea. How will we assert our rightful claim to the sacred land of our ancestors.
Yours
The Puffins
Dear friends,
As you are loyal Scottish Puffins holding the Stronghold of Rockall we understand your predicament. The whole of Scotland will do all in their power to aid you in your attempts to defend yourselves against the unnatural demands of those rapacious Irish Gannets. The current Champion of Rockall, he whose name is synonyous with all that is good is currently mounting an expedition to free you from the tyrannical overtures of these Harpies from hell.
Tancred
Dear Tancred
While at the last 12th Night celebrations in the Isle's I noted a large number of people wearing crowns all talking and laughing together. How would you describe such a group of nobility and their hangers on.
Yours Obsequious
Dear Obsequious,
A group of such individuals are generally known as a gaggle of peers at least in polite society. However as I'm not part of polite society they are called a XXXXXXXXXXXX
( The editor for reasons of his own safety has decided that Tancred's normal forthright views should be censored in this particular case.)
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 05 August 2007 )
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